Seek ye first

Above all things, that the Prioress may not neglect or undervalue the welfare of the souls entrusted to her, let her not have too great a concern about fleeting, earthly, perishable things; but let her always consider that she has undertaken the government of souls, of which she must give an account. And that she may not perhaps complain of the want of earthly means, let her remember what is written: “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His justice, and all these things shall be added unto you.” And again: “There is no want to them that fear Him.”  St. Benedict (2011-04-30). The Rule of St. Benedict (Kindle Locations 252-260). PlanetMonk Books. Kindle Edition.

Over the past several months, as I move out of my work community, I have clung to the worries and cares of that community.  Especially as I have read this chapter in The Rule about leadership, I want to reach out to them with these words.  However, while I tell myself I want to speak out and be heard for the good of the community, I believe I really want to speak out in anger, “to presume to defend [my] own views obstinately.”  I presume to know how to fix things.  So, in true Benedictine fashion, I have attempted to hold my tongue, to listen more than I speak.  I am trying to be humble – although even as I write these words I recognize a lack of humility.

However, in that effort, I listened to my sister who told me about a woman who prays for her.  This woman was called to pray for my sister as she assumed a teaching and leadership role in her community Bible study.  Four years ago she began praying, and my sister only recently learned of this gift.  I was intrigued by this story; I asked about the call: how did she know what God wanted her to do; why didn’t she share her prayers with my sister until now.

A great deal of pride and egotism lives in my desire to rebuke and correct and encourage and advise.  A great lack of faith resides in this inability to walk away and trust the institution and leave it all in God’s hands.  So, I intentionally set all this aside.  I will follow the example of the woman who has prayed for the leadership in her community.  I can humbly do this: I can put worries and cares into God’s hands; I can trust God with the leadership.