Stability and the sacred

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Let the oratory be what it is called, and let nothing else be done or stored there.  St. Benedict (2011-04-30). The Rule of St. Benedict (Kindle Location 846). PlanetMonk Books. Kindle Edition.

 

Sr. Joan quotes a Sanskrit epigram:  Necessity changes the course never the goal.  Benedict speaks of keeping the prayers even when on a journey, keeping the spirit of the rule even when the letter must be adjusted.  Our spirituality creates stability in the midst of chaos; it leavens life. 

I have read this at least nine times, but this is the first time I put these words in the right order.  Spirituality has been something I have turned to in the midst of chaos, seeking meaning and stability in the midst of turbulent seas, or so I believed.  In the hospital, I would turn on music to center myself, and I would breath through the headaches.  As I have struggled to slow my pace and curb my impatience with the healing process and my own fragility, I walk and focus on the breath. 

In the past few months, I have come to acknowledge the closeness I came to death; I have confronted the miracle of that day: I heard the voice of angels whispering in my ear that I need help and to get help.  This too created a certain chaos, and I have sought the quiet to reestablish stability. 

However, I have come to realize -- with the help of several spiritual guides -- that the strength and stability of spirit were as much a cause as an effect, that the spiritual space I create is as much an effect as the cause of stability.  The discipline of my spirit have strengthened my soul as the physical exercises have built muscle; I needed both to see me from the bathroom floor to the phone to dial 911; I needed both to survive the bursting aneurysm. 

The space and time of prayer has created in me a right spirit, a clean heart: stability; this enables me.   So now, I work to maintain sacred space and sacred time so that as I journey forward into the world – away from the monastic safety of home – I am enabled.